If your response to that statement was, "what!? since when? what are you doing with your life Rachael??" Then click HERE.
If you are still calm, and fairly confident you know the reasons why I'm moving then read on.
Indeed it is happening.... FRIDAY APRIL 5TH!
This is what I am:
-Too excited to sleep
-A little broken
...... and sure. Very sure that this is where God wants me. Sure that it is good for my heart. Sure that it I am doing the right thing.
Even if things feel weird. I am sure.
Today as I go through my desk at work there are little scraps of paper that are all that's left of moments in a season. When I stop by my mom's house to gather up my gluten free flours in a box I feel a bit pitiful that this is what I choose to carry across country with me.
I walk out doors and know I won't be walking back in them any time soon.
I hug people... I hug LOTS of people, and some of them would never hug me under normal circumstances, but all of them leave an imprint, and in that moment I realize whether or not I made an impact.
I do things for the last time.
And it's good! It's so good. It's just... that it's the last. time.
I have been ready to move for awhile now. Not just to Colorado, which so happens to be the place God picked out for me, but I have been shuffling my feet under my desk at work and fidgeting with anything my hands can find for some time now, asking "when?."
When do I move? forward?
Awhile back God had given me the verses in Genesis that talk about Noah sending the dove out of the ark after the flood to see if the waters had receded. Noah let's the dove fly free out the window, but she circles around and never finds a place to land, so she comes back to his arms. He waits a bit, probably puts her back in her cage lovingly, and promises another flight soon, and then sends her out a second time. This time she comes back with an olive branch in her mouth. A sign of hope, but not one big enough to build a life on. The third time Noah releases his dove into the great beyond she never comes back.
She never come back because she found a home. A place that was good, and contained what she needed. A place to build a nest, and live a life, and do whatever doves do. All of the exhausting trips over the face of endless water when her wings ached, and her hope faltered were not in vain. They taught her that she needed to come back to the arms of her Master for seasons of rest, and that she wasn't in charge of when or where she got to land. They taught her patience, and that even when her cage felt like a prison, it was only meant to teach her to wait.
God told me I was that dove.
He told me that almost a year ago when I was still in the "going out and not finding anything" stage. I thought then, so there will be a day when the waters recede?
That day is Friday, April 5th 2013
This dove is off, flying on the wings that will always know their true home is in the arms of The Beloved, no matter where she lands.
In Colorado God has given me the gift of a ministry and suits who I am and what I'm good at. He has given me love deeper, and more precious than I thought I would ever find in a person. He has given me arms full of possibility. And he makes all things new.
I am fully aware that Colorado is not a state of perfection, and that it holds still more moments of failure or disappointment, but I am not going to let go of the olive branch that is His promise to be faithful to me.
So there you have it. This blog WILL remain! For my sanity, and creative steam-blower-offer (no, that's not a real word thing) but also because I want all of you to come with me!
I have no idea what life will look like for the next month or so, so bear with me. I may be able to post often, or hardly at all, and the posts could either be about food, or emotional outpourings you all know I'm so talented at producing. Either way, stick with me... It promises to be magical.
Your prayers are so needed as I make the two day trek in my disheveled car full of.... well, let's be real... dishes, and food. Mostly.
Isn't it lovely?
Also, I am still just short of my financial goal in raising enough to live on through the summer, so praying with me for God's provision would be so encouraging as well.
Talk more soon.